I Know Why You’re Alone

This is like the guy who had got a "HA8 JWZ" licence plate from the Atlanta DMV and couldn't figure out why he kept getting dirty looks.

2009-05-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

You're a friggin pig.

2009-05-16T16:23:00.001-07:00

**P.S. This is the guy's main profile pic!

Oh please, please tell me you’re the one holding the blow up doll!!

2009-05-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

Zoom zoom.

2009-05-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

I'm less worried about the fact that you think this is cool enough to post, and more worried about WTF are you doing taking pictures when you're going 120?? What'd you get your license on the internet??

This has to be a joke.

2009-05-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

I actually have no complaints about this one. G J.

2009-04-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

Grandmas think, "Maybe death not so bad?"

2009-04-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

Too busy hosting SNL to find a nice lady?

2009-04-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

Pick your nose in your profile pic and who's gonna pick you?

2009-04-26T13:44:00.001-07:00

Found both these dudes in one day.

I WISH I MADE THIS:

2009-04-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Breakdown of profile pics from guys interested in a girl on Match:

And then. No joke. One dude, three in a row:

If this doesn't get ya...

2009-04-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

man-handling the goods:

Ladies- this could be you and your bestie/cousin/sister

Chair-dance for me, monkey!!

2009-04-14T21:39:00.001-07:00

gross.

2009-04-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

Are you?

2009-04-06T07:44:00.001-07:00

Are you really?

Zing!

2009-04-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Stop, collaborate and listen!

2009-04-04T21:47:00.000-07:00

Wait for it...

2009-04-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

Best part= his member name:

Kitteh does not want.

2009-04-04T19:47:00.000-07:00

And neither do I.

P.S. good luck with that

2009-04-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

2009-04-04T19:15:00.001-07:00

Kangaroofied.

2009-04-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

Words!!!

2009-03-31T00:06:00.000-07:00

So, I guess a guy could do more than just post offensive photos of himself on his profile. He could say something like, “I immensely enjoy working out in the gym 2-3 days a week.” Or, he could post this:

About my life and what I'm looking for

We meet at a modern, trendy bar for some drinks. We smile at each other as we realize that we're very attracted to the other person. We hug, and it is surpisingly comfortable. As we start to talk there is some nervousness at first, but that slowly fades as we realize how easy the conversation seems to flow. The music in the background is just right, and the dimly lit atmosphere in the bar sets the perfect stage for our first encounter. We talk for a bit, and I'm excited as I realize that it feels like I've known this person for years, even though we just met an hour ago. We laugh often and eat some delicious cheese and great wine. I enjoy it when you put your hand on my arm as you tell your stories, and lightly punch me in the shoulder when I tease you. The time speeds by, and soon it is time to go home. We hold hands as we walk outside into the warm spring air. We pause on the sidewalk and look into each other's eyes. Then we kiss. And it is perfect. On the way home we send each other text messages and poke fun at the other person over something funny we talked about earlier. We can't wait until the next time we meet.

Ever had this happen to you? I have, but just a few times in my life. Its an amazing feeling when you meet someone that you know is a perfect match for you.

Honestly? This guy doesn’t even deserve to hide behind the kitty mask.

2009-03-30T23:14:00.001-07:00

(Yay, blog just got national.)

Just who exactly are you trying to attract??

2009-03-30T22:05:00.001-07:00

Chris Hansen: I’m just saying. This guy’s solid ‘Predator’ gold.

I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.

2009-03-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

If there’s anything more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking, this cat does not plan on finding out what it is.

Hold me, like the River Jordan

2009-03-29T11:46:00.001-07:00

Are you a pothead, Focker?

2009-03-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

Puff is just the name of the boy’s magical dragon...

This is one man. Aaaaaaaaand no.

2009-03-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

Not so much.

Whip it good. Whip it real good.

2009-03-29T09:39:00.001-07:00